Well, they tell you to prepare for Mother Nature by getting the essentials – candles, canned goods, and water. And of course, duct tape. You have to have duct tape. But, seeing as how everyone that lives in the Gulf Coast of Texas has dealt with this before, as opposed to those of us who think people who live in the paths of hurricanes are fucking bonkers, well, they have bought up everything. Absolutely everything.
So at the local Target today, I spent a bit of time getting some essentials, like soda, fruit, salad, and beer. Because when you can’t find water, beer is the next best thing, right? Right. Absolutely right. Especially because, as you might have guessed, if I don’t have booze during times of crisis, it’s not going to be Mother Nature that you have to worry about. It’s going to be me! So I’m going to be lit, like the candles, and frankly, we’re going to watch the storm come in and go. And all will be well.
I have decreed it. So shall it be. I will, of course, keep everyone updated as much as possible, so do check back often! And yes, I realize that I’m fucking bonkers, too.
What – no potato chips????? Didn’t your mother teach you about a balanced diet? Man cannot live by protein alone. One must have salt, fat, and garlic also. I suggest the sour cream and onion flavor chips. Popcorn with garlic butter is also a great idea!
There is water in beer!!!