“Let’s Just Be Friends” Speech

OMG. I got the friendship kiss of death on thursday. I don’t want to go into who did this, or why, as that would be really sucky of me. I do want to point out that giving truly is better than receiving, as the old Christmas maxim goes, tho. I just hate that speech. I hate getting it, I hate giving it, and I hate hearing about it. I especially hate it when it’s a cop out, a way for some weasel who shouldn’t even have a moment of your time to separate themselves from your heart, which, through unknown and unknowable machinations, has become attached to said twerp.

I got the LJBFS. From someone I’m interested in dating. From someone who, really, shouldn’t have been able to give the speech since we’d laid out the ground rules for going forward in advance. In fact, I got it from someone who explicitly wanted to avoid the LJBFS. I know, we talked about it.

The absolute worst part of this is that I can’t really be down about it, or maudlin, or evil, or even cranky. I know the reasons behind it, and I know that this once the LJBFS was not a “you and I can’t date, ever, because I don’t feel that way about you” wake-up call. No, nope, not at all. This time the LJBFS was a cover for a “there are not enough hours in the day, and neither of us has enough energy right now to devote to figuring out how to date, let alone actually dating, so let’s be friends until we have the ability to focus on it” speech, which no one really gives because really, who in this day and age is willing to pass up even a small chance at love?

Unless one of you has millions on the line with a venture, and the other has a new venture that provides, um, conflicts with certain situations, then, THEN!, you have this dumb speech burst forth, before you even realize what’s happening, and ruin a perfectly good evening.

To the point of tears, but then I got over it, with some help from Johnny Walker – Red label, of course.

Now, however, the relationship is in a comically weird place, tho. We’ve already advanced beyond friends in some ways, and in others we are woefully lacking. With these new restrictions, do we continue to be so open and honest that we’re growing more close, or do we hem and haw hoping that a time will come when a formal retraction of the LJBFS is issued, therefore allowing us more? Does Johnny Walker make enough whiskey for this?

I suppose we’ll find out, yes?

And while some may think it odd, this posting of a moment of zaniness, remember two things:

  1. My mother is one of only two people who read this blog; and
  2. No one knows who I’m referring to.

And to those who think they do, hush up. And if, by some weird chance, the guy who I got the LJBFS from reads this, well, hell, it’s not like you don’t already know this, too.






6 responses to ““Let’s Just Be Friends” Speech”

  1. Laurie McQuarrie Avatar
    Laurie McQuarrie

    I read your blog silly! Hi Lori!

  2. KevinMichael Hamm Avatar

    So that makes three or four people… which is cool.

  3. Lori Hamm Avatar

    Hi Laurie! IMWTK. Who are you?

  4. Laurie McQuarrie Avatar
    Laurie McQuarrie

    Hi again Lori, I’m Kev’s friend Laurie who’s still at ATX in Caribou…

  5. Julie Avatar

    So, does Johnny Walker make enough wiskey? This Irish gal would like to know ;)

  6. johnny Avatar

    ah. sad story. you’re the coolest dude ever. one day your prince will come.

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