Douchebag-o-rama

I’m all about flying off the handle and losing my shit at stupid people, and frankly, when they get hit by flying poo, they tend to notice and either shape up or ship out. That’s my M.O. and it’s not going to change. That being said, here’s a high-flying homo who, in most situations, I admire, but today, I feel the need to smack with a flaming bag-o-douche.

As you can read Max Mutchnick has a problem with the edgier queens. You know, the ones who fall into a group that couldn’t ever be confused with the Uptight Citizens of Connecticut. Well, you know what Max? FUCK YOU.

I say this in no uncertain terms because Max, you had, for what, SEVEN YEARS, a vehicle to transform how gays were seen by the general populace. You produced Will & Grace, which, I will tell you, was a favorite of mine for about 3.5 of those 7 years. Then I got over it. Why? Because you did the same fucking thing that you’re complaining about now.

Who had relationships? The straight girl, Grace, and the flamboyant queen, Jack. What did Will have? Lots of time practicing as the sidekick to everyone else’s relationship problems. And we mustn’t forget Karen, who had relationships with Stan, booze, pills, money, and a woman. But did she have a long-term fling or just a kiss? Oh, that’s right, just a kiss. And a flashback.

It was season 4 before two males had an on-screen kiss, and that was Jack & Will as a protest, a hoax, a joke, a whiny moment of crying because NBC had cut something out of a show and the two were hurt. It wasn’t a real-(even though it’s fiction)-love-affair-kiss. Come to think of it, did Will ever get a real love affair? Oh, that’s right, season 7 was it? When everyone I know had stopped watching and it was safe? And did they ever kiss? I didn’t see it, I don’t know. That’s how much of an impact it had on the world because the show had already used up it’s capital in the wasteful ways of wickedly timid.

Look, Max, I know it’s hard to feel like you’re part of a community that ranges on the male side from twinks to bears to chubs; from lamé to leather to Louis Vuitton, and that’s not even a tenth of what we are. And then there are lesbians, and trans, and questioning, and all the other fucking colors of the fucking rainbow that you don’t fucking like. Well, again, FUCK YOU.

HGTV and DIY Network have done more to advance gays in the mainstream than you ever dreamed. How’s that feel?

You had your chance. You fucking blew it. So shut it – until you decide you’re going to make a new show and have real gay characters and real gay situations and really push to show the other colors of our very dynamic, pulsing, interesting and yes, sometimes frustrating rainbow. But until then, again, FUCK YOU.