Ask your daddy

I’m going to share one of my favorite memories from working as a waitron. It still amuses me, and it might be related to a tweet that a friend had today.

Anyway, I was working as a waiter at Planet Hollywood, Phoenix, which has long since closed, and it was a typical lunch rush. Not terribly busy, but not slow either, when I get a table and the host informed me that one of the three kids was celebrating his birthday. His mother had brought him and two friends to lunch, which is always pretty cool.

Things go great, the kids order their special drinks, mom is cheerful and happy, and while I know one of the kids is hers and celebrating, there’s nothing obvious about him, so I have no idea which child is hers, and figure I’ll just ask later, and get on with taking their lunch order.

One of the boys cocked his head sideways at me, and raised one eyebrow as he asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?” with what had to be the most intense, Spock-like look on his face. This kid was confused.

For those of you who haven’t met me in person, I’m a big ol’ queen, sometimes, and apparently this day, it was out for all to see.

Anyway, back to the story.

The kid is looking confused, his friends, tho, are not. They are looking at him like he’s crazy, which causes me to start to laugh. The mother, however, looks appalled, but she’s looking at the kid, not at me, and as I start to laugh, she starts to blush and turns to me with this horrified look on her face like I’ve just been insulted in the worst way. Then she starts to apologize to me with “I’m so sorry…”

I stopped her right quick, “Oh honey, don’t worry, it’s no big thang.” I queened that line like no one has every queened before. Then I turned to the kid and said, “When you get home, ask your daddy.”

The mom started laughing so hard she dropped her drink, which I skipped off to replace. She left a marvelous tip, and I saw her return two or three more times before I stopped being a waiter there, and she always asked to sit in my section. She constantly made my day, too, because we’d see each other and laugh.

What could be better?

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