Hamm On Wry

I can’t believe how busy I’ve been, and how amazingly fun being scarily busy can be. When you spend more than 40 hours a week working at a job you better love it, and while it’s not all sunshine and roses, it’s quite nice that most of the gig isn’t painful. I’ve got some filming gigs coming up, too, that make all that I’m doing worthwhile, as they allow me to be a visionary in the fullest sense of the word, and not worry too much about another person’s issues. I, however, am starting to have my own issues as I can’t say everything that I’m doing and that drives me batty. I just with that there was less of “The Sopranos” in the business of gay Houston. It’s rather annoying, to say the least.

I have, however, decided that I will be doing some more comedy this year, and I hope to change from just doing some basic stand-up to doing a few contests and maybe, if luck and my funnybone stick, getting a gig or two from it. I want to be a comedian, I want a talk-show and frankly, I know that I can outdo most of the people on air now - just not Oprah, Dave or Jay. Yet. (In the case of Oprah, probably not ever, but only because I wouldn’t bother to care if someone made up parts of their drug-addled past as, let’s all say it with me, HE WAS ON DRUGS! He might not have a clear recollection of the past. Imagine it. Drugs causing impairment and reducing your memory’s ability to function. IM. FUCKIN’. MAGINE!)

But we do love Oprah. Really. And yes, we know that Babs painted her mic white.

Since I’ve been spending time with the nocturnal creatures known as DJs, it’s no surprise that their habits and whatnot would make for compelling storytelling. It’s not like the other creatures of the night were that much more interesting, although Anne Rice probably made more money than I’ll ever even see.

Anyway, here’s a video, and I’m trying using a poster movie so that it should play more easily for all five of my readers. Enjoy!

Well, here it is, January 18th, and lo-and-behold, I’ve not written anything since last year. I’m almost surprised that I’ve managed to keep my mouth shut that long, but then I realize that the only reason I’ve been non-blogging is that I’ve been busy opening said orifice for the edification of countless morons who surround me with the specific desire to see my head explode in a burst of fire and colored sparks. Of course, that’s me on any given day before noon.

But the launch of 2006 has gone well. New Year’s Eve was a great party. I bartended at one of my favorite clubs, which was nice as I was bartender/host to a bunch of friends who take the “let’s ring in the new year” saying to a whole new level. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen that much booze disappear down the gullets of so few people, but considering that by two minutes to midnight my bar was still slammed, and had one of the guests not said “Wow, it’s almost midnight!” several of my friends and I would have missed the toast, although regardless of it, we were all toasty.

And then, exactly 7 days later, I turned 33. And we had a birthday dinner. And of the 20+ people invited, 5 showed up. Yeah, feel the love.

This is why I don’t do anything big on my birthday, it’s a bad time for everyone to anything. Everyone who missed it has contacted me, so it’s not like it’s a big deal in the long run, but it does always throw me for a loop when it happens. I have warned people to not try to do anything for my birthday, as it always backfires on them and therefore on me, but they don’t always listen. This year, The Cheerleader re-learned that lesson, much to her own chagrin. I love her dearly, and it does suck to have it happen, so I hope that in the future all my friends understand that I have nothing against birthdays, just that mine is at a bad time. I shall have to celebrate it in July.

In other news, I’ve stepped down as the Market Manager for RED as I’ve fully realized that I AM NOT A SALES PERSON. There is no getting around this fact. It’s not who I am, and it’s not going to change. And in order for RED to be the success that it should be, a sales person is needed in that role. I truly wish the entire gang at RED the best, and I know that it’s still the one magazine in Houston that I will read. And it’s not like I’m abandoning them, I’m still doing some small stuff for them, just not going to be the focus here in Houston. For that, you need to talk to Adolfo. And my heartiest best wishes to him, too!

As for what I am doing, well, I’m bartending a bit, which is nice, and I’m doing some consulting work for a few businesses to fix their marketing and advertising, which is nice as well. And I’m going to start doing stand-up again, see if I can’t work that into a bit of a gig. And I’m going to make some money this year. That’s my goal, and it’s not that I want to make crazy money and rule the world. i don’t want to be Bill Gates. I just want to be Oprah. Is that so wrong?