Hamm On Wry

I think actually that’s the entire blog - Flights of Fancy Pants. I think I will title my book that, although I will need a pair of fancy pants.

Well, another week I went on stage without figuring out anything before, and things were good. It was a new thing, tho, because I just told a story of how I got my tire punctured and then repaired, which took 19 hours and was more drama than any Complete Works of Shakespeare covered in leather. It was a crazy night, and frankly, I just think it’s great that I can stand on stage and tell a story and be funny and not have to tell jokes, just comment on my life and get people to laugh. I like that.

But I lack the fancy pants to get a television show this week. Do you hear me NBC? ABC? CBS? Get it together, I’m that funny. I promise.

Ok, so Monday I decided to do the Stand-up Open Mic night yet again, and as last week I had done the unthinkable and used notes on-stage, this week I decided to try the reverse and not plan anything. I realize that, for those of you who know me, the fact that I went into something completely unprepared isn’t all that shocking. Not. At. ALL!

However, I would like to point out that I’ve been putting this whole acting thing on hold for some time. Given that in the last decade I’ve only been acting for about a year’s worth of shows, it’s amazing that some of what I ‘knew’ has finally sunk in. The biggest learning comes from being in the Oxymoron’Z in Phoenix, and the skills I’ve learned in that troup are what is making doing stand-up so wonderful.

When I decided to get back into acting, especially trying something new with stand-up, I knew that it was the right time. Why I knew this is beyond me, but it’s true. For once, I get on stage, I say things that make others laugh and I’m calm, driven, easy and really pretty focused.

But notes didn’t work for me as well as I thought it would. I was too focused on reading them to be really connected to the audience, and so I was funny but not engaging. This monday, with no notes and no thought beforehand of what I would say, I was funny and engaged. I wasn’t as funny as some others, and I certainly didn’t cause anyone to pee. I did have many of the audience come up to congratulate and compliment me, including the hosts, again.

So it’s going to be interesting going forward, it’s not going to be an easy road to success in comedy. I don’t know that I’ll make it. but it’s something that I enjoy and seem to be good at. Now if I can just get paid doing it. Oh, and I need to film it, I know. Go figure.

It’s not like Apple hasn’t been doing a ton of stuff recently, what with releasing a new version of iTunes just over a month ago alongside the new iPod nano. Nor can they really be considered busy as they sold over a MILLION nanos in just over 17 days. I mean, come on, they should have been up to something more spectacular. And they were.

New iMacs are out. Ahem. Moving on.

The new iPod does video. Big shocker there, since music and photos were done, the only thing left is video. For those of you watching the whole Apple system, you might notice a few ‘core’ technologies - CoreImage, CoreAudio and CoreVideo - that are part and parcel of OS X. It’s like broadcasting stepping stones for other developments.

What’s interesting, at least according to John Gruber at Daring Fireball, is that the video is 320×240, which, for those of you counting pixels on old analog TVs, is about half the resolution (or for the math geeky, one-fourth the area) of what is broadcast free over the air. He wonders who would buy them. And I kinda do as well, although I have bought 2 episodes already, the Season Premier of Lost and the series premier of Night Stalker. Neither of which I’ve found time to watch in my real life, but having a copy I can watch while I’m ostensibly doing work, and can pause, rewind, etc. without having to deal with a TiVo menu (which sucks balls) or the PVR of whatever cable company you’re stuck using. And it’s merely two bucks! How can I pass that up when I don’t have to THINK!?! And so yeah, I don’t have any desire to get an entire season right now, although that is an option for anyone who wants it as well. And while half-resolution is low for most things, I’m not watching epic movies - yet! The more interesting thing is that it’s the same cost per episode even if it’s a 23 minute or 43 minute show. Next month, when they release iTunes 7.0 and include movies in full HD at decent downloads and for reasonable rates, well, there it is. And I know what I want for Christmas. (hint hint)

Ok, so I ran this joke by The Cheerleader before I decided to include it, and it was the final joke of my set. Thought I’d share, just for fun.

So I love Halloween, I think it’s a wonderful time of the year, and this past weekend some friends of mine decided to get up bright and early and go to the Haunted Houses. We got to this one that was really creepy. It had this big gothic look to it, gargoyles were everywhere, people were hanging on the walls and bleeding, and basically, it was just freaky. Then this old guy in dark robes comes out and starts chanting in some language that sounded like it could raise the dead! Then he turns to us and tells us to eat the flesh of his master! Then to drink his master’s blood! It was ALL. JUST. FREAKY! Oh, wait. That was Catholic Mass. My bad!

Personally, I like it. The Cheerleader liked it, too. As did the audience at the Laff Stop.

And yes, I know I’m going to hell. I’ve picked out some nice real estate right on the lake…