Hamm On Wry

Ok, so I didn’t write about this at the time, because I didn’t think it was really my issue. But now that it’s happening yet again, I’m less than pleased, and it’s my issue this time.

Back story: In late 2003 my friend Laurie, who is the best friend a gay man living in Caribou Maine could ask for, had to see her husband Andrew shipped off to Afghanistan because of the issues there. Without getting into the stupidity of war or the fact that it was necessary in both places, it was hard to see Andrew leave. Laurie was bummed, not just for the extra work she’d have to do raising her then barely 2 year old son Owen, but for Andrew as well, who would return to find his baby boy a rather amazing nearly 4 year old. And as for what she felt for Owen, tears and tears and tears. That kid missed his dad so much that every time you point a camera at him, regardless of who is holding it and to this very day, he smiles and yells, “Hi Daddy!!!!” BREAKS. YOUR. HEART!

Andrew did return, safe and sound, and things are going well for the family, and while I’ve moved away, I’m glad I was there for Laurie and Owen during the whole event.

I have to point out, however, that I was just a friend, doing what I think friends should do - be there. Let me repeat that. Friends should be there! There were plenty of people who told Laurie that they would be there for her while Andrew was off serving his country - for the second time in 4 years, while his son was growing in amazing ways without him, as a member of the Maine Guard who, really, should be, um, well. I don’t know. GUARDING MAINE?! Anyway. Those ‘friends’ weren’t there. Laurie mentioned it to me right after Andrew returned home how many of them reappeared, like he’d never been gone, and neither had they. Fuckers.

And I’m not calling them fuckers because I think they got away with something, they didn’t. I just don’t like people who say they are your friend but turn out to be nothing more than bar-flies, without the bars.

So now it’s round 2. For those of you can’t figure out FOAAW, it’s Friend Of An Army Wife. This time, less than two weeks after arriving in the beautiful City of Houston, I get to watch as Richard is sent to Iraq. I get to watch as Janna churns over in her head all the horrible possibilities and maybes that are faced by anyone who sends a loved one overseas. And unlike the naivete that I not only embraced but enjoyed, I know what’s going to happen. I know the sleepless nights that are coming when a phone call is missed. I know the dread that comes from any phone call from an unknown number. I know the angst and horror of just not knowing, but reading the news and hearing the worst, and thinking “and he’s there.”

I cannot serve my country, as I am gay. My country won’t let me. I’m very proud to know some of the amazing people who do serve. And I would give anything to not have to ask anyone else to serve so that my friends wouldn’t have to go through this.

To make matters worse, the military’s inability to figure out how to schedule itself has turned their last week together into their last night together, with them both hoping for another tonight. I hope they get two or three, honestly, but we all know that won’t happen. So Richard is off to the Middle East, and Janna is here in Houston, me at her side. Hopefully, it’s just to stand here and wait with her as Richard is returned safely to her at the end of his tour. Please, please please let that be the case.

I can’t really remember what it is like to lose someone that close, as death had taken most of my family when I was young, and the rest of my family and most of my friends are so onery we won’t ever die. I know a bit from another friend who lost her lover-and-soon-to-be-fiancée, and I can honestly say that scared me immensely. I know what it is to be a friend, and to be the FOAAW and I won’t ever let my friends down. I just don’t want to be needed, as much as I know I will always be there.

I have some wonderful things to say about Texas in general and Houston in particular. I will start out by mentioning that my cousin, Erin-the-Dangerous, who lives in Dallas, informed me via email that I was moving to “the armpit of Texas” and that I would probably hate it, get some random disease or perhaps die by armadillo poisoning. I had to inform here that I was moving from Caribou Maine, which, as any gay man who has lived there can attest, is the Asshole of the Universe. And while I’m neither a big pits or asshole man, I figured I’m moving up regardless.

Now that I’m here, however, I know that she lives in Dallas and is merely jealous of the fact that, well, she’s stuck living in a town where the NFL team are loving referred to as “The Girls.” How could she not be jealous of me?

I’ve met some wonderful people in Houston, and things are slowly getting going for my work, which I won’t discuss here as I’d like to keep any clients that I might actually land. But it’s warm, sunny for the most part, and I’m liking it here. I have a community that has welcomed me with open arms, and there is nothing nicer in the world. Not a thing.

This is a super quick post, just to let everyone know that I’m in Houston and everything is dandy. Especially the big monitors, they look amazing, and they aren’t even on yet. (Brilliant me, I sent the power cables and the keyboards and mice for the powermacs via Fedex, so they should arrive sometime in April… 2007). Going to nap, chat later!

There’s lots of news going on, at least in my world. And let’s face it, it’s all about me, always has been, always will be. Um, yeah… right. Anyway.

So let’s get right into, it shall we?

I am no longer employed by ATX. As some of you will remember, back in January of 2002, I agreed to join ATX and move to Caribou, Maine to become a copywriter for the tax software company. I thought I would be in Maine for 6 months, no biggie, and then I’d head back to civilization.

So three years pass…

And now, after working in Marketing, Documentation and Design, Strategic Services, and some odd-ball work for just about every other department, ATX and I realize that my core duties, the videos, aren’t necessary. And they can’t justify the expense, and frankly, I can’t justify Northern Maine.

And really, who could justify Northern Maine? Anyone? No.

But they gave me all the studio equipment, so I’m really quite well set, thanks, and so, I’m moving to Houston. On Monday.

“Why Houston?!?” I hear some of you scream. Well, because it’s a city I haven’t lived in, a city that Janna, a best friend I’ve known since I was 8, lives in, and, well, IT’S A CITY! A REAL CITY! HALLELUJAH!

Now I know, there are many other places I could go, and there are many other places that I will visit soon, and hopefully get to live in at some point. But for now, this seems like the right thing to do, the right direction to go, and frankly, the Universe seems to be guiding me there.

So, while I don’t have the specifics quite finalized yet, I will be living with Janna at her superfab new house, which is simply lovely, and I will be moving on Monday, and should be there sometime on Wednesday or Thursday. And I’ve got a ton of stuff. That’s all there is to know now.