Hamm On Wry

Yeah, it’s pretty amazing that the Obama Administration even bothered to listen to Fox News at all, let alone lose their fucking minds and fire someone for relating a story about she personally realized that racial issues get in the way of making the world a better place. And then Obama and team are forced to apologize and beg her to return to some “unique position” that may or may not be what she did before.

Here’s what Mrs. Sherrod needs to do:

• Sue Fox News for Libel, Defamation of Character
• Sue Andrew Breitbart for: Libel, Defamation of Character
• Sue Fox News & Andrew Breitbart for: Conspiracy to Defraud, Civil Rights Abuse
• Sue the Federal Goverment & President Obama for: Wrongful Termination, Civil Rights Abuse.

Yes, I know that Obama has apologized, but let’s be real. He pressured an agency head to fire a staffer because of political pressure from a faked and vile videotape without doing any due diligence. Remember the basis of our legal system is INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. If the president of the fucking country can’t remember that bit of truth then he needs to be reminded of it in the harshest way possible: put the fucker on the stand and make him explain his stupid fucking actions.

Yes, I’m fucking pissed. I can’t believe we’ve devolved to this level, but since we have, I’m going to continue to use language that fucking makes you as angry as I already am.

Senator Chuck Schumer, the flying douchebag of that reviled body, has taken it upon himself to send a letter to Apple, er, well, actually, to Steve Jobs, and as you can see, he’s lost his fucking mind.

Let’s be quite clear, the only reason that Chucky has for sending this letter is to ride the publicity bandwagon that is currently re-enacting Custer’s Last Stand. The problem is that Chucky is playing on the side that is currently being lead by a blond into battle against forces of which they know nothing about. Forces that come with a ton of fucking manpower and good-will, not to mention Chuck’s own god, MONEY. Jobs is currently trying on headdresses to see which looks best for tomorrow’s press conference, and you can bet there will be arrows shot, with accuracy normally reserved for lasers.

Politicians should know better than anyone that the old saying “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” just isn’t true in politics. Bad publicity in politics makes “Santorum“. Why the hell would you do this to yourself? It might not be an election year for you, but putting yourself in a position where a company that has 30+ BILLION laying about after the SCOTUS has ruled that businesses can spend all the money they want in politics is just fucking stupid.

Next time, just grab the pistol and shoot a nice hole in your foot. People can handle the blood. They can’t handle the stupid.

Since we’re scheduled to have an election this fall, one begins to wonder when an incumbent is going to lose his mind and grab a bright, shiney new pistol and aim squarely for the topside of his collapsed arches and then, with great calmness and a soupçon of laissez-faire, shoot himself in the foot.

Denny, how’s your foot?

Even tho this election is one without presidents, senators or even a governor for us in Montana, we do get to elect a representative to the lower house of the United States Congress. As such, if you’re the incumbent and you’d like to keep your job, you would perhaps pick up on the fact that your race is the biggest in the state. Your office will be the most contested, and anything and everything you do will be scrutinized.

Drunk on a boat and a staffer is nearly killed? Well, sure, but that was more than a year ago, people might have forgotten it. Mostly they’ve forgotten who was driving—Denny wasn’t but who is gonna go look it up? Now they’ll remember it happened, without the details, and will wonder if it was swept under the rug using the power of your office.

Then you sue the fire department because of how the fire fighters responded, er, well, finished responding to your fire? Are you high? Even if the lawsuit has merit, the fire was in 2008, so for fuck’s sake, you should have filed last year right about the time you hit your head with the boat. It’s never a good idea to sue Traditional American Heroes, but if you must, be smart about the timing. Do it in a non-election year because people forget in a year.

People remember idiocy when you give them a reason to, and this most certainly will give them a reason. Bye-bye, Denny.

First off, it’s no secret that I’m as gay as gay can be. It’s a fundamental part of who I am, and while I don’t generally go around slapping people with glitterbombs and then screaming “I’m GAY!” while dancing in a tutu, it’s nothing I hide, either. Yes, I grew up in Montana and I’ve lived many other places.

I have a pretty even-keel outlook on most things, realizing that a lot of Montana will never be current or modern, no matter how deep the penetration of CNN and Jersey Shore. However, this being so backwater-that-I-keep-looking-for-your-inbred-sibling-playing-a-banjo-on-your-front-porch? That’s not Montana that I know and love.

Golly gee, tho, check out this rancid bag of feces. Search for the word “homo” you’ll find the exact part that sets me off, for the purposes of this post. There are plenty of others I may write about in the future, but for now, focus on this:

Homosexual Acts

We support the clear will of the people of Montana expressed by legislation to keep homosexual acts illegal.

Well, let’s dissect that loathsome concoction of words.

• We— who exactly are you? There are no signatures on the bottom of the page, and the only officers I can find on the site are Will Deschamps and Liane Johnson, and while Will has a bio, there’s no contact info for him. I’ll look that up later. Regardless, I want to know who voted for this, and I want to know who wrote it. It’s called transparency, and better be some soon.
• support the clear will of the people of Montana expressed by legislation— bull. Since the law was deemed unconstitutional by the Montana Supreme Court in 1997, nothing has been done to try to get around that. The law is from 1973, the same year that produced your humble author. The legislature could have acted at any time in the expanse of my life to make my life worse for me, but they haven’t—whether due to incompetence or because they actually aren’t afraid of the gay, who can say? Regardless, the only things that’ve changed since 1997 are the 2004 constitutional amendment that said marriage is between one man and one woman, and the U.S. Supreme Court finding all sodomy laws to be unconstitutional in 2003. Other than that, the only “clear will” of the people expressed by legislation has been nothing.
• to keep homosexual acts illegal.— Have you bloody morons read the law? No, really, have you? And the little bits where it says it’s been superseded by the Supreme Court, have you read them? Because if you had, you would realize that homosexual acts are not illegal in Montana, so, either you want to take action to re-criminalize homosexual acts, or you want to support the “clear will of the people” and support the status quo. Too bad you couldn’t figure that out before you posted this.

I first found out about this platform from Twitter, when @jameegreer was retweeted by @mikewessler:

As I’ve just pointed out, the MT GOP doesn’t even know the current law, let alone what the people think, but Jamee and Mike are right to be upset. The only thing that part of the platform proved was that they are bigots and idiots, not either/or, as one might presume.

Yes, I’m up in arms over this. My mother, a staunch Republican, is up in arms over this. My father, another staunch Republican, is also up in arms over this. Why? Because it’s the worst parts of the liars who claim to be conservative but who are anything but, and who are destroying our party.

Let’s do a bit of vocabulary, shall we?

• Conservative: a person who wants less government because of a deeply held belief that people can and should make their own destiny. A person who wants to live and let live, and leave as much personal choice and freedom with the individual as possible. A person who knows that the solution can be found, and strives for the private sector to be the pioneers that find it.
• MT GOP: A formerly-conservative political party that has been ransacked and raped by the ideologues, most commonly self-identified as ‘Christian conservatives’, who cling to bigoted, racist, sexist, backwards and repressive ways of life.
• Evangelical Christians: A collection of bigoted, racist, sexist people who think that any who disagree with them are Un-American; that the government should return to the way it was when it was founded; who think the U.S. was founded by the christian god and is subject to the bible’s laws, or at least the bible’s laws they agree with; wants the government to tell people what to think, what to believe, who to listen to, and what to say; They are a bunch of socialists trying to tell everyone how to live their lives, using a book that’s been mangled by madmen for over 2,000 years.

I’m a Republican, and I’m gay. I don’t think the Democrats have an exclusive on being good to gays, nor do I think the Republicans have been universally evil. On many issues, like business and taxes, I’m much more conservative, and while I know the Republicans need to get their heads out of their asses on social issues, the fact that the left just wants us all to be coddled and blanketed by their ideals and rules means I won’t ever fit in with them, either.

As I said, my mother is a Republican – a very active Republican -and when I asked her about the platform she rolled her eyes and reminded me that the party was hijacked by the talibangical twits. I’m hoping she’ll be instrumental in getting that madness removed from the platform.

However, the rest of the Republicans in this state need to step up. You may not like what’s going on in D.C., and you make think Obama is a schmuck—fine, I don’t care. In many ways, I agree, although I think Obama is more of a weak-willed-wannabe than anything else. You have to step up and look at your neighbors who are losing their minds over half-truths and rumors and let them know that their solution is no better. We don’t need this madness anymore.

The GOP is not for anything as radical as making an entire class of citizens into criminals. The GOP is for slowing down the pace of government, finding creative solutions to problems that don’t involve creating more government jobs, and for letting people live however they want, so long as no one is getting hurt. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, to these pricks who have hijacked my party: Die in a fire. God is ashamed of you, and Jesus would sooner sleep with the Pharisees than have anything to do with you. You are ignorant, uncouth, damaged people and your consistent disregard for the lives and well-being of others will be the destruction of our country. And for the last time, you are not conservatives. You are religious ideologues and terrorists. You are the English-speaking, American version of the Taliban.

UPDATE: More on this can be found at mom’s blog.